Author Topic: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not  (Read 101504 times)

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Offline RockThePylon

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1575 on: October 21, 2018, 09:20:23 PM »
Sometimes she goes, sometimes she don't, that's just the way she goes.
I may scream like a dainty lady, but I punch like a fairly strong 11-year-old.

Offline darthekai

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1576 on: October 22, 2018, 01:28:41 PM »
Im gonna co-opt "thats the way of the road, bubs" from Rathburn.
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Offline RedndWhite

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1577 on: January 04, 2019, 07:49:09 PM »
I'm absolutely baffled by how many vehicles in Calgary are going along with only one or no functioning brake lights.
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Offline Mendozer

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1578 on: January 07, 2019, 12:58:15 PM »
I'm absolutely baffled by how many vehicles in Calgary are going along with only one or no functioning brake lights.

Or completely forget to turn their lights on!  Most of the population got to work and return to work when its dark (right now).  Turn your lights on!

Offline coop3422

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1579 on: January 07, 2019, 01:22:56 PM »
I'm absolutely baffled by how many vehicles in Calgary are going along with only one or no functioning brake lights.

While this is frustrating, it doesn't bother me anywhere near as much as people who can't signal. Drives me nuts, and it is so common.

Also another that really pisses me off is trucks without mud flaps. We have enough rocks and itshay on the road, at least have some respect for those around you.

Offline Scooby Brew

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1580 on: January 07, 2019, 03:46:36 PM »
While this is frustrating, it doesn't bother me anywhere near as much as people who can't signal. Drives me nuts, and it is so common.

I have sooooo many pet peeves with drivers, I just gave up because it is not worth it:
Signal light issues: Not using at all, want to change lanes when next to me but will not signal intention (I am not a mind reader)
Illegal lane changes: Crossing solid lines (missed exit ramps, construction zone no passing, etc...)
Speed Issues: Speeding waaayyy too fast (Crow is 80kph not 120), way too slow, inconsistent speed (50 kph variations).
Tailgating: You're an sholeasay (already got hit by one of these late last year)
Weaving: It's calgary, there is lots of traffic, you're not saving time
Brake riding: Get off the damn brakes, no wonder you all complain about how often you have to get your brakes done.
Just being a compete idiot: Wrong way in a traffic circle or driving like there is no lanes in a traffic circle, not knowing how to merge, not shoulder checking, cutting me off

Anyway, I gave up, I just drive like everyone is a mindless ishtay, I expect everyone to hit my car. (Just for the record I have never had an at fault accident or even gotten a ticket in my life (almost 20 yrs driving), and yes I do speed (who doesn't?) Just gotta know when, where and how to do it).

Offline darthekai

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1581 on: January 07, 2019, 04:54:10 PM »
Anyway, I gave up, I just drive like everyone is a mindless ishtay, I expect everyone to hit my car.

Shocker tho: defensive driving actually works.
I almost get hit monthly in traffic circles, the beauty of their design is that its easy to avoid.
I also never expect anyone to turn a corner and go into the correct lane, which can annoy people behind me when im making a right turn into a two lane street while others are making lefts from the other direction. but hey, uckyfay. its saved my assay so many times.
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Offline Mason

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1582 on: March 01, 2019, 04:21:08 PM »
Crested a hill on highway 20 doing 105km/h to find a minivan traveling 35 km/h. Road conditions were good and there was no turns on or off the highway for a few km. Finally able to pass after a few km of following it and it's a 80-90 year old woman just dogging it.

Stay off the road if you can't travel at an appropriate speed

Offline darthekai

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1583 on: March 12, 2019, 09:28:35 AM »
I just do not understand why sometimes it is so difficult to buy something from a retailer.
Honestly I'm sitting here not only willing to buy but actively trying to buy your item and all you can do is come up with road blocks.

Trying to buy a desk I saw on the floor of a staples. Call in, they don't have any in stock. "what about the one you have?" oh its a floor model and we can't sell it to you. "well can you bring one in?" yeah but it will be 3-4 weeks probably. "ok nvm". Go online to staples.ca...theres lots in stock. Order one. Email saying "ups is the delivery agent in your area and due to limits in size and weight they cannot deliver this item as they only have a single driver. We cancelled your order we hope this does not inconvenience you". Well of course it uckfayin inconveniences me you daft untcay that's literally the only thing I wanted. Ok FINE. I'll just order it to the store I think. I'll just pick it up and hopefully whatever braindead manager I was talking to before receives it and feels like an a hole.... Boom same email. I reply with "ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT YOU CANNOT DELIVER A DESK TO YOUR STORE THAT SELLS DESKS".
I get a response "for any customer service inqueries, please contact your local branch at xxx-xxx-xxxx.

uckfayin so mad.

Also i am trying to force myself to read atlas shrugged but honestly it reads like a uckfayin 12 year old boy with an executive dad who is never home wrote it as fanfic. It's truly the definition of whinging. It's so bad. Just like content matter aside. So bad. But maybe it's inspiring me to have less respect for people who can't do their uckfaying jobs.
Nah, that's been pretty much bottomed out for the past 7 years.
What man put together, man can rend asunder and then also put it together sometimes what's all this left over stuff
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Offline seat safety switch

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1584 on: March 12, 2019, 09:49:12 AM »
Atlas Shrugged is skippable. The Fountainhead has an uncomfortably long rape scene.

Offline darthekai

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1585 on: March 12, 2019, 10:02:29 AM »
is it at least readable?

If i have to read another half-chapter about how the protagonist is a tall dark handsome capitalist who is very tired but just always had a penchant for getting things done and loves a challenge and the opportunity to really throw themselves into their work but nobody really understands them, im going to uckfaying kill myself.
What man put together, man can rend asunder and then also put it together sometimes what's all this left over stuff
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Offline diamondedge

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1586 on: March 12, 2019, 10:09:01 AM »
is it at least readable?

If i have to read another half-chapter about how the protagonist is a tall dark handsome capitalist who is very tired but just always had a penchant for getting things done and loves a challenge and the opportunity to really throw themselves into their work but nobody really understands them, im going to uckfaying kill myself.

Welp I don't want to read this now at all, lol.


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Offline Asstuna

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1587 on: March 12, 2019, 01:13:16 PM »
Yeah, I don't like reading stories about myself.

Offline Rathburn

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1588 on: March 12, 2019, 01:54:36 PM »
Yeah, I don't like reading stories about myself.

Reading? ullbayitshay, you're from Australia. We all know you're an illiterate criminal. Don't pretend like you're over here all learning to read and itshay.

The only reason you'd pick up something made of paper would be for titties printed on it.
Is illmotion's sunday school where you learn about how Stance Jesus scraped for your sins?
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Offline Asstuna

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1589 on: March 12, 2019, 02:38:12 PM »
Sad but true.

Offline RockThePylon

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1590 on: March 12, 2019, 07:45:48 PM »
is it at least readable?

If i have to read another half-chapter about how the protagonist is a tall dark handsome capitalist who is very tired but just always had a penchant for getting things done and loves a challenge and the opportunity to really throw themselves into their work but nobody really understands them, im going to uckfaying kill myself.

Atlas Shrugged is the first and only book I've ever stopped reading halfway through.

I tried, I honestly did. But it was such a chore, I couldn't do it.
I may scream like a dainty lady, but I punch like a fairly strong 11-year-old.

Offline seat safety switch

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1591 on: March 12, 2019, 08:06:06 PM »
is it at least readable?

If i have to read another half-chapter about how the protagonist is a tall dark handsome capitalist who is very tired but just always had a penchant for getting things done and loves a challenge and the opportunity to really throw themselves into their work but nobody really understands them, im going to uckfaying kill myself.

You really don't want to read the Fountainhead then.

Offline jellynuts

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1592 on: March 18, 2019, 11:03:23 PM »
uckfay, Johnny with the back-handed slap. You're clearly the Oracle.

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Offline darthekai

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1593 on: March 19, 2019, 10:12:36 AM »
kijiji is scum

Quote
How much would u consider seeling the pass for?
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Offline Dylan780

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1594 on: May 16, 2019, 08:10:28 AM »
People who stand too close to you when in line for something.

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1595 on: May 16, 2019, 08:46:57 AM »
Quote from: mudferret
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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1596 on: May 16, 2019, 09:25:46 PM »
People who stand too close to you when in line for something.

This is why I don't take care of my personal hygiene. 
uckfay, Johnny with the back-handed slap. You're clearly the Oracle.

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Offline darthekai

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1597 on: May 17, 2019, 02:16:08 PM »
Hit em with a long range pony tail shot.

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Offline Jukka

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1598 on: May 17, 2019, 02:36:24 PM »
People who stand too close to you when in line for something.
Just rip a fart. They'll back off. Did that in line at Ikea the other week waiting in line at their cafeteria. This woman and her kid were literally standing maybe 2" behind me. I would turn to say something to my wife and nearly elbowed her kid in the head. I kept moving forward, they kept following. So just let one rip hard, which when you have a 2 year old with you, you can pass the blame onto them if they ever give you a weird look. Backed right off.

Offline RedndWhite

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Re: Biggest pet peeves..Car related or not
« Reply #1599 on: May 17, 2019, 09:30:04 PM »
Just rip a fart. They'll back off. Did that in line at Ikea the other week waiting in line at their cafeteria. This woman and her kid were literally standing maybe 2" behind me. I would turn to say something to my wife and nearly elbowed her kid in the head. I kept moving forward, they kept following. So just let one rip hard, which when you have a 2 year old with you, you can pass the blame onto them if they ever give you a weird look. Backed right off.

Ever since I read this story, I've felt less guilty about crop dusting terrible kids with itshay heads for parents. Can confirm, it shuts the kids up.

Quote
When a kid is being a brat in a noisy and public area, I casually get close to them and fart on their head/face. I'm really tall so it's usually a direct hit.

It's funniest when the kid notices and doesn't know what to do because I'm a uckfaying giant and I'LL EAT THEM IF THEY TELL THEIR MOMMY.

If I decide to stare it's usually with a, "Yeah, what the uckfay are you gonna do about it?" look.

I'm about 6'7'' so even when I'm just trying to be friendly (i.e. not farting on a stanger kid's head) and meeting a family member's or friend's kid for the first time, I've noticed they get very 'hide between their mother's legs' intimidated on sight if I'm not sitting down. So it's not hard for me to silence/intimidate a child, especially when I'm trying to.

However, a few times I've been called out. One time I was pretty drunk with a friend at a Target buying Risk (and no, we never finished playing the whole game). This little mexican 5-7 year old with a mohawk, was being an insufferable little itshay in the action figure section. I heard him from like 5 aisles over and it was like nails on a chalkboard. I tell my friend, "I'm gonna fart on this kids head. Watch and learn."

I saunter on over to the aisle in question and see the vile little prick calling his mom an "idiot" for not buying him a huge uckfaying G.I. JOE The Movie vehicle (which pissed me off even more considering how awful that movie was. BUY SOME GOOD TOYS!) "I already bought that one for you and you broke it by throwing it down the stairs" "SHUT UP. I NEED IT. IT'S THE ONLY ONE I DON'T HAVE NOW." The mother was younger than me (I'm mid twenties) and gave a defeated look, "I don't have enough money right now." "YOU ARE AN IDIOT," and continued to just berate and publicly shame this woman.

At the time, I was on a strict Chipotle carnitas burrito diet. And while I was watching all this, my stomach gave me an initial warning gurgle (very courteous stomach) telling me I was about an hour away from punishing the toilet. Serendipity! Destiny!

I inch a bit closer to my prey, inspecting some wrestling toys and pondering the weird homoeroticness of the whole 'sport' in general. The kid shouts "uckfay YOU, I HATE YOU!" The mom rolls her eyes and turns her back to the kid to ignore him. And could you believe it, the kid gets on his hands and knees and starts taking the toy out of the box. It's go time, motheruckfayer.

I position my back towards him and at this point am like 2 feet away from him. His head is down, getting frustrated with those god damn twisty tie things, and I go for the kill. I bend down to reach for the one of the toys on the lower shelf. At this point, my assay is INCHES away from this kids head.

Now, generally speaking, the best way to go about this is to act casual, drop your belly bomb, then walk away after a few seconds like nothing is out of the ordinary. I usually go one aisle over and listen to the kid's reaction in delight. However, today I couldn't help myself. I have my head tilted back looking at this kid out of the corner of my eye, to ensure accuracy.

I'm so close that from a distance it looks like I'm about to sit on him,. My friend sees this happening and can no longer contain himself. He's covering his mouth, but his 'hee-haw' hyperventilating donkey chortle is fairly audible over the late 90's pop muzak playing on the loudspeakers.

The kid immediately looks up towards the laughter, but can't help but notice there is an assay now directly in his face. Now, I'm trying not to laugh but also panicking as I just made eye contact with him. He furls his brow and I look over in the mother's direction, still back towards us. I relish in the moment and the look on this child's confused and naive face.

The initial blast was mighty and boisterous. I swear I saw his hair blowing in the wind (so to speak). If I wasn't wearing jeans, I think it could have probably blown over an empty soda can. I would call it "a very fun fart" (A++ would buy again). However, what immediately followed that out the chamber was truly horrifying. The fart's implication changed without notice and swiftly. It went from a joyous, dry airhorn squeal to a nefarious, hissing mephitis. I think the little moppet noticed the hateful metamorphosis before even I did because he wretched his neck violently trying to get away from the personified evil being fumigated into his soul. Because of his positioning (hovering over the toy, hands and knee), it was all in vain as the only way out was forward...and forward would mean certain death. I had positioned myself well on the higher ground, free to escape or relent at any time and him, poor and immobilized: biding his time until the cruel attack was over. Obviously, this child needed to re-read Sun Tzu. In total, it lasted about 4 seconds but for that kid, it must have seemed like time was frozen. The long-term severe brain damage which he no doubt suffered, only added to that effect. When I finished with my bidness (i.e. forcing a little boy to huff my farts), there was a silent, pregnant pause. The kid was clearly shocked and stunned. No one had ever stood up to this dwarf sociopath in his whole life. I had taken the words out of his mouth and filled it with fart.

I make my move first, picking up the toy I was "reaching for" off the low shelf, take a few steps forward and stare at it for a few seconds. On '2 alligator,' the only thing the kid could manage to do was burst into tears. My friend senses danger 'the jig is up' and his head darts for cover. The mom turns around to see her kid with an open toy, crying on the floor and me minding my own business. She walks up to him and asks what's wrong but the kid can't speak. All he gets out is, "BAWAWAAAWAFARTBAWAWA." It took every fiber in my body not to laugh. I put the toy back on a middle shelf, turn around, give a final nonchalant looksy and then begin to take my exit. Sensing that his assailant was getting away scot-free, he somehow managed to compose himself for a moment. He shouts, "HE FARTED ON ME!" I could feel him pointing at me but I continued to act like I was just browsing. I was ALMOST around the corner when the mom goes:

"Excuse me....sir....SIR!" I turn around nonplussed, -"Uh...who? Me?" - while pointing to myself.
"Yes. Did YOU just FART on my son?" Weighing my options, I played dumb. - "What? I mean, I did fart."
"On my son?"
"Well, I mean, technically speaking...I mean...what is 'on'?"
"Why did you fart on my son?" At this point the little kid has the look of schadenfreude on his face, happy to see me in trouble. uckfay you, I'M A MAN! I WILL FART ON YOU IF I PLEASE! I turn my attention to the little kid and stare at him,
"Because the whole store could hear him being a little, rotten sholeasay to his mother so I thought I'd come over here and treat him like one."
The mom looks at me, her son and the scattered GI JOE/wrappers/box on the floor. The mom is puzzled as to what to do and says, - "Just..just go." - That's my cue! I turn around, walk away with little extra step. I look up to see the black orb of security cameras and all the stories on reddit about unjustly having to register as a sex offender flash before my eyes. As soon as I turn the corner, I book it outside as fast as I can while dialing my friend. Like a true friend, he is right out front with the engine running and Risk in the trunk.

We laugh on the car ride back about the whole scene. With a slight hint of seriousness in his tone, my friend asks me:

"Do you do that a lot?"
"Ahhh, not that much. Like once every 6 months or so."
We both knew I was lying. We got to our other friends house, played risk until 4 in the morning while drinking scotch. Overall, I would say it was a preeeetay preeeeetay good day.
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