Author Topic: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?  (Read 2759 times)

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Offline seat safety switch

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Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« on: September 30, 2015, 09:13:59 AM »
Look guys, I know it's been hard with the economy. Lots of people off work right now, lots of itshay's going wrong in the oilsands. Your cousin started asking you to wear a condom and it totally ruins the entire experience. I've heard it all.

I know y'all have some real problems with the rain.

I know fo sho that y'all got some "trubs" with the snow. Oh boy howdy do I ever know this.

And I know that more of you are coming every single day of my cursed existence.

But look, guys. It's a sunny, nice morning, and I shouldn't have to put up with this:

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660 NEWS Traffic ?@660NEWSTraffic  45m45 minutes ago
Multi vehicle crash: SB Shaganappi Trail at Crowchild Trail NW - LHL - emerg arriving on scene (8:23am) #yyctraffic

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660 NEWS Traffic ?@660NEWSTraffic  48m48 minutes ago
Crash: EB Memorial Drive approaching Centre Street NE - RHL #yyctraffic

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660 NEWS Traffic ?@660NEWSTraffic  27m27 minutes ago
Crash: WB John Laurie Blvd approaching Charleswood Drive NW - LHL #yyctraffic

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660 NEWS Traffic ?@660NEWSTraffic  2h2 hours ago
Multi vehicle crash: SB 14 Street south of John Laurie Blvd NW - LHL #yyctraffic

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Calgary PoliceVerified account
?@CalgaryPolice
3 eastbound lanes of Crowchild Tr NW are currently closed at 40 Ave NW due to a collision. Please use alternate routes. #yyc #yyctraffic

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660 NEWS Traffic ?@660NEWSTraffic  49m49 minutes ago
Update: WB LHL closed on Hwy-1 at Old Banff Coach Road - all EB lanes now open after earlier crash #abroad #yyctraffic
That's nearly a dozen crashes, some severe, on major roads within about two hours of each other. On a sunny, clear day.

Now, I've lived here a long time. Maybe longer than your parents have been alive, imagine that. For a significant portion of that time, I've been driving a self-propelled automotive conveyance, which you might refer to in your broken ape-like pidgin English as "car," or for some of you, "trrrrrruck." I don't judge.

But sweet Jesus get your uckfaying itshay together before the snow starts falling.

Toodles,
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Offline RedBimmer93

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Re: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« Reply #1 on: September 30, 2015, 09:36:51 AM »
Ooo I remember driving to work on the first day of a heavy snowfall, and listening to the traffic report on the radio... The traffic report was 4 or 5 times longer than normal... Accidents EVERYWHERE!! :P

Offline Tenacious_B

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Re: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« Reply #2 on: September 30, 2015, 09:43:03 AM »
It's even worse in Edmonton, every single day on the way home there is at least 10 accidents in the metro Yeg area.

I don't even know how people get into accidents since everything is under construction/repair and it's total bumper to bumper gridlock anyways.. but people find a way to make it happen.

Have you ever gone to the mall during the week at lunch time and just looked around? It's a sea of mouth breathers with a lower IQ than mayonnaise, and these people are allowed to drive.

Explains it all really...
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Offline LilDrunkenSmurf

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Re: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« Reply #3 on: September 30, 2015, 09:44:10 AM »
Leave at 6am, and you beat all the accidents.
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Offline 05LGT

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Re: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« Reply #4 on: September 30, 2015, 09:55:11 AM »
Leave at 6am, and you beat all the accidents.

This
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Offline Rathburn

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Re: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« Reply #5 on: September 30, 2015, 10:12:51 AM »
Time to trade up for a new ride.

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Offline Canuckrz

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Re: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« Reply #6 on: September 30, 2015, 11:15:39 AM »
Ooo I remember driving to work on the first day of a heavy snowfall, and listening to the traffic report on the radio..
I avoid being on the road during the first snowfall at all costs. Too many idiots with bald all season tires whose brain seems to fall out this time every year.

Offline SpdDmn

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Re: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« Reply #7 on: September 30, 2015, 11:53:49 AM »
Too many idiots with bald all season tires whose brain seems to fall out this time every year.

Or equally fun, those who haven't swapped OFF their winters all summer. Bet those are quality rubber by now.
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Offline Mitnek

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Re: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« Reply #8 on: September 30, 2015, 11:59:08 AM »
We should go F1 style - no brake lights on any cars.  :P

Although I doubt the mouth breathers in this city would actually adapt by giving themselves more room for error.

Even though every lane is filled with cars and there's cars as far as the eye can see, people still tailgatin' yo... Can't let that guy cut in front of you, gotta leave that gap small, #winningtherace

Offline Stehle

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Re: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« Reply #9 on: September 30, 2015, 12:02:02 PM »
TL;DR version of this thread

Quote
mouth breathers

Offline 05LGT

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Re: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« Reply #10 on: September 30, 2015, 12:02:43 PM »
Too many idiots whose brain seems to fall out.

Everyday here.
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Offline Mitnek

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Re: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« Reply #11 on: September 30, 2015, 12:09:26 PM »
I wasn't even here for SSS' first rant about rain. Being a Vancouverite, I was baffled that people in Calgary drove 70 in the rain but 110 in the snow/ice.


Offline Asstuna

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Re: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« Reply #12 on: September 30, 2015, 12:43:50 PM »
I wasn't even here for SSS' first rant about rain. Being a Vancouverite, I was baffled that people in Calgary drove 70 in the rain but 110 in the snow/ice.
Driving ridiculously slow in the rain gets on my tits too.

Offline Tik-Tok

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Re: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« Reply #13 on: September 30, 2015, 03:51:33 PM »
I avoid being on the road during the first snowfall at all costs. Too many idiots with bald all season tires whose brain seems to fall out this time every year.

That's implying they had a brain to begin with. Should be extra fun this winter with extra amount of rigpigs stuck at home, and still used to driving Northern Style in their jacked trucks.

Offline Markkas

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Re: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« Reply #14 on: September 30, 2015, 04:07:25 PM »
Leave at 6am, and you beat all the accidents.

This is what I do. I'll create my schedules to allow me to miss rush hours completely. If I have a class during rush hour, I get up early, go to the gym, or get to school and study or do homework, etc.

Getting up early definitely has its perks. I'm slowly transitioning into a morning person.

Offline RockThePylon

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Re: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« Reply #15 on: September 30, 2015, 08:53:05 PM »
That's implying they had a brain to begin with. Should be extra fun this winter with extra amount of rigpigs stuck at home, and still used to driving Northern Style in their jacked trucks.

The highways up north run pretty damn smooth. If anything, rigpigs are a solution, not the problem.
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Offline seat safety switch

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Re: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« Reply #16 on: September 30, 2015, 08:56:26 PM »
Is driving Northern Style going 300kph on an untwinned single carriageway directly into the face of a different meth-snorting sleep-deprived rig pig every Thursday afternoon?

Offline RockThePylon

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Re: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« Reply #17 on: September 30, 2015, 10:18:29 PM »
You just about nailed it. It's a gongshow up there. Everyone is in a hurry, and the roads are always bad.

I think we'd all be dead if the roads were full of the average Calgary driver.
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Offline pistachoo

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Re: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« Reply #18 on: September 30, 2015, 11:05:03 PM »
It's a sea of mouth breathers with a lower IQ than mayonnaise

Rofl!

Vancouver had no rain from about May to the first or second week of September. A couple of weekends ago we finally got a good weekend of proper Vancouver downpour, and I passed 4 accidents on two highways in the span of 20 mins, one of which was an SUV or truck thing on its side and facing the wrong way in the grass between the straight stretch of highway and the curve of a merging onramp. I don't even. How does Vancouver forget how to Vancouver?! And we're headed for an El Niño year...
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Offline Durandal

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Re: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« Reply #19 on: September 30, 2015, 11:21:01 PM »
Rofl!

Vancouver had no rain from about May to the first or second week of September. A couple of weekends ago we finally got a good weekend of proper Vancouver downpour, and I passed 4 accidents on two highways in the span of 20 mins, one of which was an SUV or truck thing on its side and facing the wrong way in the grass between the straight stretch of highway and the curve of a merging onramp. I don't even. How does Vancouver forget how to Vancouver?! And we're headed for an El Niño year...

The longer an area goes without rain, the more oil and crap builds up on the roads, making that first bit of dampness all the more slippery. But still, no excuse for Hongcouver drivers to forget how to drive in the weather that defines 2/3rds of their winter.
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Offline cha0tik

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Re: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« Reply #20 on: September 30, 2015, 11:30:56 PM »
That's implying they had a brain to begin with. Should be extra fun this winter with extra amount of rigpigs stuck at home, and still used to driving Northern Style in their jacked trucks.

What do you mean? Muddin' tires are perfect for snow/ice. I mean, just look at how bad-assay they look. They should be able to handle ANYTHING!
Complement them with a lift kit to increase the centre of gravity, and what could possibly go wrong when doing high-speed maneuvers on city streets?

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Re: Calgary, can we have ANOTHER word?
« Reply #21 on: November 16, 2015, 02:11:17 PM »
Is driving Northern Style going 300kph on an untwinned single carriageway directly into the face of a different meth-snorting sleep-deprived rig pig every Thursday afternoon?

yes but also it means tailgating the itshay out of people doing only 20km/h over the speed limit and then chasing them down and attempting to run them off the road because they prevented you from riding the bumper of the car in front.
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